Relationship Counseling Denver, Co

Individual Relationship Counseling

If you find yourself feeling unlovable, broken, alone, and unable to change your relationship cycle relationship counseling can help! These concerns may show up in dating, committed relationships, family, or friendships. It may feel hard to understand why relationships are difficult for you or how to make changes. Even when we start to recognize our unhealthy patterns or triggers it may feel impossible to break out of the cycle. We want to provide a space to heal, to understand what led to the relationship issues, and how to prevent them in the future.

Most all mental health concerns originate from our relationship with ourselves and others. Our work together will focus on learning about and healing past relationship wounds, how to recognize these patterns, and how to make changes towards fulfilling intimate relationships.

Signs Your Relationships are Unhealthy

Relationship issues can occur in developing relationships, maintaining relationships, or in relationship endings.

At the beginning of relationships we may try to create closeness too quickly or have difficulty creating closeness at all. If you find yourself deeply connecting with people you just met and then feeling like the relationship comes to a quick or sometimes dramatic end this can be a sign that you are trying to be close and intimate too soon in relationships. This often leads to a cycle of intense connection and rejection. If you have difficulty connecting with others you may have received the feedback that you are difficult to get to know or are guarded. Often you feel like you are trying to connect but friendships and romantic relationships stay surface level and you may feel like you can't rely on others. Usually folks who have the most difficulty with creating healthy connections with others have a combination of both trying to create closeness too quickly and also distancing themselves.

Maintaining relationships is a very sophisticated social skill that we are never taught. Typically when you have experienced other unhealthy relationships or have relational trauma maintaining relationships can be especially difficult. If you have low self-confidence or self-esteem you may find yourself people pleasing and putting your needs last. This is not sustainable, so you bottling up your emotions and needs until you explode or communicate your needs in a passive aggressive manner. This often leads to you feeling like the "problem" or that others do not care as much about you as you care about them. Another common reaction is to feel hyperaware of rejection or on edge waiting for you partner or friends to leave or abandon you. If you have relationships experiences that make it difficult to trust others you may struggle to maintain close fulfilling relationships. It may feel like others are highly critical and always want more from you than you are able to give. You desire closeness but find yourself pulling away from others and your are unsure why. Your relationships might be short or long term but often after it ends you feel relief. If you are wanting counseling for you and you partner see our Couples Counseling page 

Relationship endings can be very triggering if you struggle with relationships. You may feel a loss of identity. direction, and a future. It can trigger thoughts of insecurity such as "I am unloveable," "others cannot be trusted," or "I will always be alone."  Even if you initially feel relief you may later feel deep loneliness and worry about your ability to create long-lasting love. Often when relationships end you not only experience this current loss, but the loss and rejection from all past relationships. If you never heal these past wounds you may relive the pain with every relationship ending. For more information on healing from relationship endings see our Divorce and Break-up Recovery page.
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How Relationship Issues Start
and How Therapy Can Help

Humans are wired to be social. Our brains are designed to learn from our environment and the people around us. Difficulty with forming and maintaining healthy relationships often results from how we have learned to react to people in our lives. This may mean your family but you can also be impacted by friends, past romantic relationships, peers, teachers, coaches ect. In therapy you will learn to explore these past relationships and how they influence your current relationship behaviors. You will be able to pin point why you are the way you are in relationships and feel more in control of creating loving relationships. 

Common Topics Discussed in Therapy

  • Difficulty Starting Romantic Relationships

  • History of Unhealthy Relationships

  • Noticing old negative relationship behaviors in your new relationship

  • Wanting to better understand your relationship issues 

  • How your family impacts your relationships

  • How to set boundaries with family

  • Contemplating ending your relationship 

  • Difficulty communicating with your partner

  • Relationship anxiety

  • Fear of abandonment 

  • Sexuality 

  • loneliness

  • Social anxiety

  • Difficulty creating friendships

  • Low self-esteem

  • Online dating 

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