In the journey of relationships, there are moments when couples find themselves standing at a crossroads. They may be unsure whether to work on their issues or to part ways. This uncertainty can be deeply distressing, and traditional couples therapy may not always be the best fit for addressing such pivotal questions. Enter Discernment Counseling—a specialized approach designed to help couples navigate these crucial junctures with clarity and intention.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is a relatively new approach to couple therapy, developed by Dr. William J. Doherty, a prominent family therapist and professor. Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on resolving conflicts and improving relationship dynamics, Discernment Counseling is specifically tailored for couples who are uncertain about their future together. The primary goal is not to solve relationship problems immediately but to gain clarity on whether to pursue further couples therapy, take a break, or consider separation.
The Core Principles of Discernment Counseling
1. Clarity and Commitment: The central aim of Discernment Counseling is to help couples gain clarity about their relationship and make a committed decision about the future. It provides a structured space for individuals to reflect on their values, goals, and desires.
2. Three Distinct Paths: During the discernment process, couples explore three potential paths:
Restoring the Relationship: Decide if they want to engage in traditional couples therapy with the goal of healing their relationship.
Separation: Consider if a trial separation or permanent separation might be the best course of action.
Status Quo: Choose to maintain the current situation while seeking individual support or taking time to reflect further.
3. Brief and Time-Limited: Discernment Counseling is typically short-term, often involving just a few sessions. This focused approach helps couples avoid prolonging their uncertainty and makes it easier to make a well-considered decision.
4. Individual and Joint Sessions: The process usually includes both joint sessions with the couple and individual sessions. This allows each partner to explore their personal feelings and perspectives in a confidential setting.
How Does Discernment Counseling Work?
Initial Consultation: The process begins with an initial consultation, where the therapist assesses the couple’s situation and explains the discernment process. This is a time for each partner to express their concerns, hopes, and fears.
Exploration: In subsequent sessions, the therapist works with the couple to explore their individual and shared goals. They discuss the relationship’s history, current challenges, and potential future scenarios. Each partner is encouraged to reflect on their own contribution to the relationship dynamics and their vision for the future.
Decision-Making: The therapist helps the couple weigh their options and consider the implications of each potential path. The focus is on empowering the couple to make a decision that aligns with their values and long-term goals, rather than pushing for a specific outcome.
Follow-Up: Once a decision is made, the therapist may help the couple develop a plan for the next steps, whether that involves entering into traditional couples therapy, seeking individual support, or proceeding with separation.
Benefits of Discernment Counseling
1. Clarity in Decision-Making: It provides a structured framework for couples who are struggling with indecision, helping them understand their own needs and the implications of their choices.
2. Reduced Ambiguity: By addressing uncertainty directly, it reduces the emotional turmoil and confusion that often accompanies relationship crossroads.
3. Informed Choices: Couples are better equipped to make informed decisions about their relationship, which can lead to more constructive outcomes whether they decide to stay together or separate.
4. Respect for Individual Perspectives: The approach acknowledges and respects each partner’s perspective, fostering a more balanced and empathetic decision-making process.
Discernment Counseling in Denver, Colorado
Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?
Discernment Counseling is particularly useful for couples who are on the brink of separation or divorce and need help clarifying their options. It is also beneficial for couples who feel stuck in a state of limbo and are unsure if they want to continue working on their relationship.
If you and your partner find yourselves in this uncertain space, consider seeking out our therapists at Lone Wolf trained in Discernment Counseling. This approach can provide a valuable space for reflection and decision-making, helping you navigate the complexities of your relationship with greater clarity and purpose.
In the end, Discernment Counseling is about empowering couples to make choices that are right for them, whether that means working through their issues together or choosing a different path. It’s a compassionate and thoughtful approach to one of life’s most challenging dilemmas. Our skilled therapist Dr. Tinkoff wrote this informative blog, so if this seems like the therapy direction you are wanting you can schedule a phone consultation directly with her using this link.
Lone Wolf Dicernment and Couples Counseling Denver
1. We encourage you to get to know a little bit about our therapists, their specializations, and their credentials. Get to know all our therapists here.
2. If you are ready for therapy but aren’t sure which direction to go yet, reach out to us! You can schedule a phone consultation with our practice owner, and she will pair you with the best fit at our practice. Use this link to schedule a phone consult with our practice owner.
3. Begin the exciting journey of understanding yourself and your relationships to forge a lasting, healthy, and fulfilling relationship!
We hope to hear from you soon.
Other Counseling Services in Denver, CO
Not only does our therapy practice in Denver offer Discernment Counseling, but we also offer a wide variety of services for healing and seeking clarity in your relationships. Each relationship is unique in its personal journey and we are here to provide, insightful and productive Relationship Counseling, Divorce and Break-up Recovery Counseling, Couples Counseling, LGBTQ+ Counseling, Kink and Poly Friendly Therapy, Trauma Therapy, and Premarital Counseling as well. We also offer Self-Help Resources to help supplement your therapy or to better prepare for upcoming therapy sessions.
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